I’m going to talk about stress in a couple of professional fields and how it affects them mentally. Used to everyone only focused on the military and how it was affected because of war. But we have escalated to a point everyone has been under unbelievable stress and it has affected them mentally and as the years go on it will show how much.

As a soldier transfers to civilian life he has to become accustomed to it as well from the former life. It is indeed very difficult for them. Being in the military you have to set the bar. You have to be ready to pack and be on a plane in 2 hours if that is the order you receive. With that, you have to go knowing you’re entering enemy territory and they want you dead. You leave knowing that you may or may not come back. Many leave pregnant wives knowing their child may be 1 or 2 years old when they return. So many watch their friends die in XXXX ways right in front of them. These individuals have to come home and live with these things in their heads, When they leave they don’t know what the future holds for them. When they start their civilian lives they may have been a ranking officer now they have to adjust to a job where someone may be over them and they have never had so many lives at stake and having to make the call knowing that the soldiers depended on them, Yes, I can see how that would be very difficult. Then there’s adjusting your resume so you can apply for normal functioning jobs. And yes you have great skills but you have to word the resume to fit the civilian life.

I went to a home for an outcall a bit ago. The man served his country in such a way I won’t disclose. I knew something was wrong but I was caring and gave him the appt. The next morning he called anxiously when can you get here?” I told him in an hour. When I arrived he told me how a friend committed suicide. And how hard it was and that he went to the VA to talk about it with someone. He said the VA was within walking distance of him. He said she only wanted to go over his records because she was a fill-in. He said I got up and left. He said I was almost home when 2 officers stopped him and said he required me to do a mandatory suicide watch. He said they locked him up for 3 days. in such an awful way I’m sure it was because of his history in the military. He said I came home and haven’t left here in 2 weeks. I was the 1st person outside a family member or another veteran friend that had seen him.

The thing is he wanted someone to talk to. Due to her not listening to him there was this horrible misunderstanding that could lead to him going home and doing something, It all could have been avoided with understanding and a listening ear, not one that wanted to think about how can I medicate you. Many I see don’t want to be medicated. And many just need someone to listen to help them relax without being judged or wanting to up their medications. I’ve had men say I can’t talk to my wife. I don’t want to screw up my marriage but I’m having to live with this. I’ve had them say to my children I’m their hero but they don’t know what I live with. And I’ve heard I can’t talk to my Doctor. They just want to up my medication.

I’ve seen a few snipers who wouldn’t pick up another gun unless they had to. And, yes they wouldn’t give up their guns. But, they don’t want to look through or have to look through the scope again. They said every time they do they have flashbacks awful flashbacks. So I’ve seen a great variety of situations. I can assure you that there is no judgment. I respect those that serve and I’m very aware that people are surprised by what they do in your situation. I have one man that should never survive who had horrific scaring across the stomach. He said he ran over a hill and he got gunned. He was amazingly healthy for surviving that and obviously had an amazing surgeon.

Not all are so lucky and many have to live the rest of their lives with what happened. I travel and when I’m in a city I offer a relaxing 2-hour experience to those under the gun. I look forward to meeting each one that books and enjoying the time with you and the knowledge you each have shared. Many stories I won’t share bc words couldn’t express and my eyes don’t need to be read as well as I respect the client’s wishes and their secrets safe.

Rose Oakley • Dec 16, 2022